Pinky Tuscadero

Me: “Lookie, lookie! It’s Pinky Tuscadero!”
Maia: “Yeah, yeah! I’m Pinky Tuscadero! … whoever that person is.”

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Middle Finger

Maia: “Papa, is it okay if I showed the middle finger accidentally?”

A new toothbrush

Me: “Hey Maia! Rosie said she wants to brush your teeth. Open your mouth. I’m going to put some toothpaste on her tongue and she’ll lick your teeth.”
Maia: “NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!”

Yeah, I’m weird.

History Lesson

Maia: “Papa, did you know George Washington made his wig with sugar?”
Me: “He did, huh? How did he do that?”
Maia: “He put sugar on a normal wig, then he put it in the microwave, then he put it in the refrigerator and then he softened it. Then he put his wig on to give it a try.”

I’m suddenly a little worried about the curriculum of Maia’s school.

Growing Up So Fast

Offering Maia advice on what kids movie she should watch:

Me: Are you sure you want to watch that? It’s probably going to be scary in a little bit.
Maia: You forget that I’m almost seven.

World Geography

Maia made a new friend at dinner last night. The topic of most of their conversation was chocolate.

This morning:

“Papa, can I go to Maria’s house today? I want to bring her some M&Ms because she LOVES chocolate!”
“I don’t know sweetie. I’ll have to send her a text first to see if she’s free. You really like Maria, don’t you? Do you remember what country she’s from?”
“Umm … Burrito?”
“Good guess. It’s Brazil, but you were close.”

Everyone’s a Critic

Maia: Papa, I want to see you draw a flower.
Me: I don’t want to. I’m a terrible drawer.
Maia: That’s okay. I just want see your drawing.
Me: You’d better not laugh.

I quickly draw a flower.

Maia (with a look of disgust on her face): That’s a horrible flower and I know you can do better.


I was looking at the layout of the living room this morning and said, “I think I’ll move the recliner over here. That’ll give us more space.”

To which Maia replied, “Yesssss! Then I’ll have more room to DANCE!”


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