Me: “Hey Maia, you should be Frankenstein for Halloween.”
Maia: “No. I’m going to be a vampire.”
Me: “A vampire? When did you decide that? You should be Frankenstein.”
Maia: “Look, Papa, I already told you – I’m going to be a vampire and I don’t have time to argue about this.”
Me: “Hey Maia! There’s going to be a red moon this evening. It’s called a blood moon.”
Maia: “A blood moon?”
Me: “That’s right.”
Maia: “That’s inappropriate*. They should call it a fire moon.”
*Technically, she said “unappropriate”.
Maia: “Guess what Papa? Today some REAL FOOTBALL PLAYERS came to our school!”
Me: “Really? Wow! Were they Cougars?”
Maia: “Of course. Duh! Why would anyone want to see Huskies?”
The indoctrination is in full swing.
Maia: Hey Papa! I can find all kinds of important things on Google. Like, I found the biggest cheeseball in the world.
Republican debate: “What woman would you like to see on the ten dollar bill?”
Maia: “Me! I want to be on the ten dollar bill!”
Me: “Hey Maia! I don’t know what I don’t know.”
Maia: (shrugs) “What does that mean?”
Me: “I don’t know.”
I’m watching the Republican debate. Maia walks up to me, hands me a fortune from a fortune cookie, and asks,
“What does this say?”
“It says, ‘Knowledge of current events will help you,'” I tell her.
“What does that mean?” Maia asks.
“It means we should watch what’s on TV right now because they’re talking about current events,” I say.
Maia: “Papa, there’s a boy at school who said I’m cute and he loves me.”
Me: “Hmm. I see. So what’s this boy’s name?”
Maia: “His name’s Vinnie. He’s a bad boy.”
Me: (sarcastically) “Great. So how do you feel about him?”
Maia: “I don’t like him. He told Isabella and Katie he loves them too. Somebody has to ask him if he’s crazy.”
I was talking to Maia about her future elementary school. She asked me what the mascot name was (her current school is the Dragons). Figuring I’d tease her, I told her it was the Jellybeans. Her response?
“Jellybeans??? That’s AWESOME!”
The past two evenings I promised Maia that I would make churros* for her but forgot to do it each time. This morning she reminded me of my transgression so I “pinky promised” that I would make them for her this evening.
But apparently the pinky promise wasn’t enough because Maia asked me what would happen if I forgot again. I told her that if I forgot again she could punch me in the belly. She got really excited and gleefully told me that she wasn’t going to remind me to make churros this evening.
What have I created?
*They’re not exactly churros – I just spread butter in a tortilla, add some cinnamon and sugar, roll them up and fry them. Pretty darn good, if I may say so myself.
Unbelievable. It happened. I forgot to make the churros.
Around 8:30 last night Maia said, “Papa, guess what you forgot.”
“Aaaarrgh! Oh no! Sorry sweetie. Would you like me to make one for you now?”
“No thank you. I’m not hungry. I just want to punch you in the belly.”
“Yeah, okay. A promise is a promise.”
Maia called me over closer to her and told me to close my eyes. Though she’s a little one, I braced for the punch – hoping that she’d be on target. Next thing I know, I heard a little giggle and Maia saying, “Get ready, here it comes …”
Then she gave me a hug. (Sniff, sniff.)